Days

There are days where the fight to believe in something is so elusive that you wonder why you are even standing where you are.

There are days that are so tiring that you just have to close your eyes and remember that one day you will have miss the chaos.

There are days where you wonder if you will ever achieve anything of value, and there are days that you aren't even sure that you know what is valued.

And then there are days where all of the above happen in one moment. And those are the days where you swim in the tears of confusion and land on the rock that never disappoints.

Knowing

I am capable of knowing the plans and purposes for my life. It's true. It doesn't have to be a mystery. It can be revealed. Step by step or blueprint by blueprint. Ambition can fit in the picture and alignment can as well. It can excite me and thrill me and scare me all at the same time. But I can KNOW. The character of God is such that He desires me to feel full here more than I do. I declare that I will begin to KNOW the directional, foundational calling of God upon my heart and life. It will come to me. I will discover myself with ease and nothing will remain hidden. I can and will know.

Praise God for shifts in thinking!

Permission

My heart has often felt like it has needed permission to be released into greatness. I am unsure why....but all I can say is that more and more each day, I am feeling the release of heaven to move, pursue, run, and go after everything in my heart. 

The elusive nature of dreams or destiny, can make them difficult to go after. And the fear involved in going after something you want can often keep you timidly walking, or even paralyzed. But the release of heaven came with Jesus. The more He draws you, the more He releases you.

My dreams have felt ambiguous at best, but the release I am feeling is beginning to bring vision. Father continue to define, encourage, and release me!

Balance

What is the balance of stewardship and prosperity? Different voices say so many different things. Under commit your finances. Build with vision. Don't overdo it. Don't regret not doing what you really wanted.

Peace needs to follow every decision. Someone else's conviction may not be yours. Either way....follow the voice of Christ within you and around you.

Jesus bring peace to every decision and may balance be a mark of my life.

Beautiful Time

It is my heartbeat. I love functioning in time. I like being at the right place at the right time. I like knowing what God is doing at this point in time. I like knowing what he did in other times. I like knowing what He wants to do at future times. It is something I think about without thinking about it. It just happens.

I hate being early, and I hate being late. I want to arrive right on time. Deadlines drive me and procrastination frustrates me. Because timing is critical.

Right now we are auditing Paul's business so he can make better use of his time, so I decided I would do the same. Even though time is a value, staying at home with kids can get me offtrack with my larger goals in life. I want to function in timing there.

I don't want to require more of myself in this time than I am capable of. That has a tendency to breed shame. But I don't want this season to be unproductive and without vision. That breeds complacency. I want my world to function in perfect timing.

In the Bible, God says that He makes everything beautiful in His time. I want my life to be beautiful. I want the things that I touch to be glorious. I want creativity and innovation to be in my thoughts and in what I produce. And when I think about this verse, I don't think about how God's timing might not be mine....(although it might not), I think about how when we partner with His timing, everything is beautiful.

So to audit my life, I am going to look at the dreams and desires that don't feel beautiful. I don't mean the ones that aren't complete, because even uncompleted in-progress dreams are beautiful. I mean the ones that when I think about, I don't feel hope, life, or even smile. I want those dreams to be at peace and in timing.

So Jesus come. And make all of my things beautiful. In your time.