Days

There are days where the fight to believe in something is so elusive that you wonder why you are even standing where you are.

There are days that are so tiring that you just have to close your eyes and remember that one day you will have miss the chaos.

There are days where you wonder if you will ever achieve anything of value, and there are days that you aren't even sure that you know what is valued.

And then there are days where all of the above happen in one moment. And those are the days where you swim in the tears of confusion and land on the rock that never disappoints.

Knowing

I am capable of knowing the plans and purposes for my life. It's true. It doesn't have to be a mystery. It can be revealed. Step by step or blueprint by blueprint. Ambition can fit in the picture and alignment can as well. It can excite me and thrill me and scare me all at the same time. But I can KNOW. The character of God is such that He desires me to feel full here more than I do. I declare that I will begin to KNOW the directional, foundational calling of God upon my heart and life. It will come to me. I will discover myself with ease and nothing will remain hidden. I can and will know.

Praise God for shifts in thinking!

Permission

My heart has often felt like it has needed permission to be released into greatness. I am unsure why....but all I can say is that more and more each day, I am feeling the release of heaven to move, pursue, run, and go after everything in my heart. 

The elusive nature of dreams or destiny, can make them difficult to go after. And the fear involved in going after something you want can often keep you timidly walking, or even paralyzed. But the release of heaven came with Jesus. The more He draws you, the more He releases you.

My dreams have felt ambiguous at best, but the release I am feeling is beginning to bring vision. Father continue to define, encourage, and release me!

Balance

What is the balance of stewardship and prosperity? Different voices say so many different things. Under commit your finances. Build with vision. Don't overdo it. Don't regret not doing what you really wanted.

Peace needs to follow every decision. Someone else's conviction may not be yours. Either way....follow the voice of Christ within you and around you.

Jesus bring peace to every decision and may balance be a mark of my life.

Beautiful Time

It is my heartbeat. I love functioning in time. I like being at the right place at the right time. I like knowing what God is doing at this point in time. I like knowing what he did in other times. I like knowing what He wants to do at future times. It is something I think about without thinking about it. It just happens.

I hate being early, and I hate being late. I want to arrive right on time. Deadlines drive me and procrastination frustrates me. Because timing is critical.

Right now we are auditing Paul's business so he can make better use of his time, so I decided I would do the same. Even though time is a value, staying at home with kids can get me offtrack with my larger goals in life. I want to function in timing there.

I don't want to require more of myself in this time than I am capable of. That has a tendency to breed shame. But I don't want this season to be unproductive and without vision. That breeds complacency. I want my world to function in perfect timing.

In the Bible, God says that He makes everything beautiful in His time. I want my life to be beautiful. I want the things that I touch to be glorious. I want creativity and innovation to be in my thoughts and in what I produce. And when I think about this verse, I don't think about how God's timing might not be mine....(although it might not), I think about how when we partner with His timing, everything is beautiful.

So to audit my life, I am going to look at the dreams and desires that don't feel beautiful. I don't mean the ones that aren't complete, because even uncompleted in-progress dreams are beautiful. I mean the ones that when I think about, I don't feel hope, life, or even smile. I want those dreams to be at peace and in timing.

So Jesus come. And make all of my things beautiful. In your time.

Let It Throw

Enjoy this awesome new Christmas app. It is for adults and kiddos! Lots of fun!

Again

It's time to start writing again. I always feel the urge before I know where or what to start writing about. I am not good at giving a play by play of life. Seems too redundant to me, even though I enjoy the results of such endeavors.

So here I am......waiting on inspiration. Wondering if what I chase will end up on this blog, in a teaching or in a book. Guess we will see.....

because I am wanting to write again

Delivery

The uncertainty and the anticipation of delivering a baby is the same even in your third. Granted, I now understand how the body functions better, but the waiting, even when you are so close seems unbearable at times.

In this season, there is a spiritual birthing going on as well. I know it. I feel it. Change is in the air. And sometimes the uncertainty and the anticipation of this birth causes the same intense emotions I am feeling physically.

Why is it that when you are so close to breakthrough that it feels so far away. It takes faith to understand that what is being born is transformational. The season we are entering into is a hard thing to explain because the Lord IS doing a new thing. He is ridding us of performance. He is calling us into real relationship with people and with Him. He is clearing the path for our deliverance from every stronghold. He is purifying our motives with His Love. And he is doing this so that He can release us into a season of glory.

The glory of the Lord .....what a weighty concept. But for those of us who have persevered the trials and the testings and have let Him work on our hearts, the Lord will release us into our call and our destiny. And He will back it up with the weight of His pressence.

As I wait and groan for the birthing of these two beautiful things, I am reminded that it won't be long............

Excellence

I was talking with a friend today and she was telling me of a quote that she had heard and was asking me what I thought about it. The quote was, "I never want to stop being an amateur." She was speaking about things of the spirit. I think the quote stemed from a desire to remain humble and consistently dependent on the Lord.

But I disagree with the quote. We are called to excellent. We are called to function with full skill, knowledge....without compromising the voice of the Holy Spirit. I don't disagree with humble and dependent, but aren't the best experts in any field, the people who have the skill and who remain teachable.

I think the conversation awakened something in me to again press in to what is in my heart. To not just know enough, but to have the knowledge and skill mastered. And to couple that with the Spirit of God reigning inside of me.

Many times, we in the church are satisfied to just know enough. God is once again raising the challenge to us to master what He has called us to.

For as 1 Chron 22 says, "We (the temple of the Lord) are to be of great magnificance, fame, and splendor in the sight of all the nations."

Let's choose to be committed to the constant process of learning. Let's choose to be committed to not just partnering with the Lord, but gaining wisdom and skill. Let's choose to be committed to excellence.

Fun

Since Easter Adie has been talking about Jesus alot. She talks about how he died on the cross. Then how he rose from the dead.....how he just stood up. She talks about how his owees heal our owees. How his hat had handles or forns (thorns). And that the reason Jesus died was to give us life and life that is fun.

I love it all, but I LOVE the last line. Jesus died to give us a full life, but when explaining that to a toddler, you have to use their language. And honestly, I am starting to love her version so much. A life that is full is a life that is fun.

There are so many things that vie for our attention as adults. Pressures that seem undending....mortgages, bills, bosses, kids, and everything in between. And somehow many of us have lost the art of having fun. Jesus set us free. And free is free indeed! Freedom might not entail just leisure or pleasure activities but my spirit can soar in victory over circumstances and live full and fun.

So I declare that we will engage the "fun" God and regain the art of enjoyment.

Green Pill

I am reminded of the movie the Matrix. Will it be the blue pill or the red pill? Well, for me it's neither......it's the green one.

I have a new best friend. It was a friend my last pregnancy, but this pregnancy, ohhh how we have bonded. It's name to me is the "little green pill." Just thinking about it, makes me happy. It relieves pressure, is long lasting, and quick.

It is better known as gas-x! Thank you Jesus for such a great invention!

Compassion

Compassion : sympathetic concern and empathy for the sufferings or misfortunes of another

I have been asking the Lord why is it that I struggle with compassion. I mean true compassion. I wonder why as a culture, and again specifically...me, struggle with this attribute. It is not a typical characteristic these days.

But we need to figure it out. Jesus moved out of compassion. He healed out of compassion, and he delivered out of compassion.

So after seeking why I struggle with this, I heard the Lord give me an answer.

I struggle with compassion because I feel helpless. I keep my heart at bay in many situations because it hurts too bad to engage the heartaches of others. There are certain situations that I can be compassionate in....those are the ones that I know the Lord's character and know His ways. For example physical illness. Even in the most dire medical situations, I have seen Jesus rise above and bring his healing touch to people. I have seen it, experienced it, and brought it.

But some situations, I haven't seen the Lord in. And the short-sightedness I experience in knowing His character colors the hope I have in Him moving into people's struggles.

So as I become more acquainted with His character and His nature...His ways, I will grow in compassion. And the good news of the word is that the struggles that right now I don't have answers to, will become the testimonies of the Lord as I let the compassion of the Lord drive me to the answers and solutions to the world's problems.

Question??

I am on a quest. I feel led by the Lord to conquer the task of writing a book. I do not believe it will be my last, but it being my first is more than a little overwhelming. So as I am finishing my outline and beginning writing, I am asking for a little feedback. It is mostly out of curiousity sake as I have been thinking on the subject alot lately. But any response is appreciated.

Most of us understand that we are in a great shift in the church...... So in your opinion, what is the greatest shift (or shifts) taking place in this epoch season?

Fishing

There are some of you that decided that life the same old way just isn't going to work. Some expectations are down, some hopes have died, and you don't know where to stand. So in essence, you have gone "fishing."

After the Lord died, Peter was disappointed and he didn't know what to do except go back to fishing. 

But when the Lord called him to shore, he went from walking next to Christ to being the expression of Christ to this world. He went from watching the Christ to being the BODY of Christ. 

So those of you who are disappointed and are waiting on the Lord to call you to shore. The promise of the example is that when he does call, it will change you. It will empower you and it will send you forward with great confidence and abandon. You will become a pure reflection of Him and you will step into what you are called to.

So I pray that for you who are fishing, your disappointment will be healed and that you will see HIM and hear His voice, and arise and shine.....for the Glory of the Lord WILL shine upon you.

love you 

Nothing

"sometimes you have to do what the world calls 'nothing' to find out the very something God created you to do."

I heard this quote the other day and am loving it. 

We are truly in a season of breaking off performance. Where the only thing that moves us is seeing what the Father is doing and only moving when we hear HIM speak. Unfortunately, that can be very uncomfortable. I find it interesting that when you stop the hampsters wheel, and press in to the Lord, people have trouble with it.

Many of you know that Paul and I are in a season of transition. We have never lacked to hear God's voice to move. Everytime He has wanted us to shift, He has spoken loudly and moved many obstacles to place us where He wanted us to be. But now, that things "appear" difficult, people have been expecting us to strive to make a way. Now, don't get me wrong, the Lord blesses those who do their part of the equation, and we have been pressing into Him and everything He brings our way. But our desire and our aim is to yoke ourselves to Him, which is a very light burden, and requires NO striving....but only pressing in to His rest.

The season of change and rest that we are in may appear as nothing, but we are very much in the hand of the Lord and have seen many supernatural things to attest to this. He is re-awakening us to our hearts and is calling us to His side once again. It may "appear" as nothing, but we are finding out what God truly has for us. And in due time, the kairos time, it will manifest itself in the here and now.

So I guess this post is more a declaration of my heart that we are not bending under the pressure of performance, but are willing to walk this out until we walk into the glory of the next season.

Lightning

Some nights are just filled with awe. I love thunderstorms. I love all that they entail. I love the lightnings, the thunders, and even the odd fear and respect that they bring.

Tonight after driving home from a prayer meeting, there was the most beautiful, interesting storm. All of the lightening was in the high heavens. It was above the clouds and seemed to be striking at the atmosphere.

It reminded me of the scripture out of Ps 29. This chapter speaks of the voice of the Lord. Then in vs 7 it says that the "voice of the Lord strikes with flashes of lightening."

Then in Ps 146 is says, " Send forth lightening and scatter {the enemeies}, shoot your arrows and rout them."

This was a thunderstorm of high intensity. It provoked deep intrigue. As I was meditating on it, I felt like the Lord showed me that HE was dealing with the atmosphere over the Big Country. He was sending forth HIS voice and breaking off mindsets and scattering the enemies that are hindering advancement of the Kingdom of Heaven.

And then, as if a confirmation, he showed me how satan fell from heaven like lightning (Luke10:18). And how he is called the "prince of the air (Eph 2:2)." 

Maybe, just maybe, we are watching the divine judgements of the Lord deal with the injustice in our atmosphere. Maybe, just maybe, He has moved from His mountain (PS 18) with thunders and lightnings to fight on your behalf. Maybe, just maybe, this storm means that there truly is a new kind of movement brooding. That there is a freedom fixing to fall, and that HE is dealing with every obstacle in our way to ensure our success.

Call to Pray. .

Today while the kids were asleep, I turned on the TV and began to watch Oprah. (not my normal choice, but just landed there) Today she was interviewing a family where the little girl struggled with childhood schizophrenia. And this is rare since she is 7 years old. Her name is Jani. She has over 200 different friends that she sees and hears. She constantly talks about her other world. And many times she becomes violent on whover she is around. This past year she has already been hospitalize over 175 days in a phych ward. 

Now, why am I asking for prayer. It is more than just compassion. When I was watching the videos of her I began to see her fixate on another world. I believe she is a "seer." I believe the enemy is tormenting her. I hurt for her freedom, because for her there is no peace. Her mind never settles, and she rarely gets much sleep. She lives in a state of constant battle. A battle of 2 worlds, one which is real and one which is imaginatory. 

I began to wonder why this family is on Oprah. I know that Oprah likes to have her show be "enlightning" and such, but I believe it was on her show to bring awareness to this child. Now for many people awareness means nothing. But to the church, awareness should mean that we understand that there is a family functioning with no hope, very little joy, and that parents have had to lay freedom and dreams for their daughter down long ago.  

So now what? I am asking you to pray. I know that Jesus set free those who were tormented. That he gave hope to the hopeless. And that he brought freedom to the captive. Let's pray that someone with the love of Christ and the understanding of deliverance would be brought across their path. I know that Luke 4 and Matt 8 speak about those who were tormented with demons, and He set them free. Matt 10 says that Jesus gave us the commission of "Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give." Let's press in to pray that this young girl would truly find freedom and peace with Jesus.

Birthdays

Sometimes the things a kid does just amaze you.

I was riding in the car home from church tonight and Adie was talking about her birthday. Now, this might not be odd for some, but her birthday isn't for another 5 months. She kept talking about which princesses would show up, which of Lighting McQueens' friends would show up, and which of tinker bell's friends would come.

Then she was telling me which presents she would get and was talking about her cake.

So like any good mommy, I was trying to explain that she would have to wait awhile for her birthday. Nana's and Grandad's and Daddy's and Mommies would be here first.

But she was so insistent on her present and cake that I finally just said, if you want a present now, you will need to ask Jesus.

So she sweetly prayed, "Jesus, I want a present and some cake." Then without warning or prompting says, "HELP ME Jesus. Amen."

Then the rest of the way home, she is talking, as if reality, about the present she would get and the pile of cake.

Now, I have three choices as a parent. I can jump in and help make her prayers happen. But how does that help. In my zealousness to help her know God is real, I would jump in and not let him be the "savior" of the moment and I would make her prayers happen.

Or I could tone her down. "Don't get your expectations up kid." Not wanting her to have disappointment hit her.

Or the last and best option....I could encourage her precious faith to grow. Put Jesus on the line and let him meet her precious heart's cry in a way that she will remember and cherish.

So I am waiting.....and hoping that this teachable moment provides my daughter with the understanding that she matter to Jesus and that He is good to her. And that he is not just about her needs, but her wants.

So here is to...the faith of a child and the expectancy of a moving King.

Followers

For those of you who periodically read this blog, I'm going to ask you a favor. Please become a follower. I am trying to get a good grasp on how many people read this so I can know how to enlarge my following. 

So please become a follower. Thank you.